Lots of things changed after I came to Australia. I came here when I was 19. My world was limited within my close couple of friends or inside the pages of my novels till I was in Nepal. I was/am a very optimistic person who didn’t know the world had some dark side that I was not aware of. I came here and met lots of people in my life with different kinds of attitudes, values, demeanors, ethics, and many more.
The people I’ve had an opportunity to come across taught me lots of things on their way. Some of them had similar ideology and notion of life as mine so it was easy to align with them. Some of the people I met were completely opposite to me but also I’ve learned whole new things from them. Within that complexity of meeting new people and leaving from my own life has made me acknowledge that most of the things are temporary. I met people who in the name of love drained all of my energies and used me up in every way they could whereas I also met people who felt like sunlight, encouraging me to my dreams outlining my strengths. I made mistakes, trusted people, cried all night, moved to a different town but I again got back on my track and never repeated the same thing.
In the process of exploring new people and new places, there were times when I got exposed to vulnerability. But at the end of the day, I would gather myself up to live up to my ethics and boundaries. I’ve had very bitter-sweet experiences with everything but I’m glad I am becoming the woman of my dreams, not perfect but satisfied. I was always fascinated by the idea of being a woman who is not scared to fight any battles because she carries her own sword. I like the independent women of today who don’t need ‘men’ to justify their existence. I know, two is always better than one but before you get involved with that one, you should always make sure that even if it is just one, you are capable enough to get along with the world. I was scared back then. I was always scared of losing people. I wanted to keep my dear ones always tied by my side because I would cherish every single person in my life thinking they’re precious.
- MAN – A Confession
- Top 5 Reasons Why Your Australia Visa May Get Rejected
- The major struggles of Nepalese students in Australia
So I would tolerate any type of mean behavior one used to show me. I was afraid of saying no, cause I always cared about someone else’s feelings and choices. Not because I loved myself any less and loved them more, it’s because that was my usual demeanor and I couldn’t help but be at my nicest to the people who didn’t even deserve that. I wanted people’s happiness before mine and that’s how I had always been. But the time changed. Everything is really dynamic and everyone changes too. Since I realized everything is ephemeral; I stopped putting effort into people who wouldn’t give a flying fuck about my feelings, happiness, or comfort. I realized most people are selfish and the one without selfishness barely existed. I was the type of girl who never said ‘No’. I wish I had done that earlier. Because I didn’t say ‘No’, at that time, I went through heart-wrenching pain and all gloomy days. I wish I had done that earlier but it feels good to realize that I won’t be settling up for anything basic that doesn’t satisfy me. I’ve learned the hard way that nobody really cares about you. I have discovered my worth and I am ready to make everything happen.
And today, behind that same submissive, innocent, and pure-hearted woman, is a woman who is not scared about anything, who is not afraid to take any challenges that her life has to bestow upon her, who is there with her strong boundaries and limitless love to spread around. This woman that I am becoming gives me chill. And this is to the entire woman out there, you’re doing great. As long as what you do makes you happy and doesn’t hurt anyone, you’re doing fine. And love yourself. <3
