Please go through it once. It’s 2:44 am and I am unable to sleep. It is not the job stress or ex memory that’s haunting, it’s about our young community and guardianship that has been giving me sleepless nights. Getting straight into the point, 2 years back my uncle’s son came here as a student, He was staying with me in his early days then he couldn’t get along with me and he wanted to move out with this friend. Problem was that he was into clubbing, poker, partying, showing off, and all. I was like convincing him even scolding him to get rid of all these and focus on career and saving. He was like I am old enough to judge what’s good for me, I am moving out. Then I let him move out. We used to talk pretty rare as there was ego within me that I shouldn’t bow down to a kid who doesn’t have any gratitude for me.
Then like 1 month ago, it was his birthday. I went to his place, I heard that he was in a live-in relationship. I was shocked to see a girl with who he was living. She is our school “baini”, like she was 5 years junior to us in school we all used to mock her “nani nani”. She was the most brilliant kid from our school like she was exceptional, she used to inspire us so much at that very age. Everybody expected so much out of her. When I went there I felt that Baini was trying hard to act happy and excited. We talked like when she first came here she was so excited, full of dreams and passion, she was so curious and she went on like Dada how did you do this and that .
I felt so motivated to see that kid. She isn’t the same at this moment. I didn’t talk about it but When I got home I got anxious and I couldn’t sleep that night. days later I asked her to meet in person, she was trying to avoid the meeting. I said it’s really urgent and she agreed to meet. We met and asked her what’s wrong she didn’t open up, I asked her if she completed the REACT JS as she had asked me for tips to learn to react js she was really passionate about programming. She said she left programming and now she is pursuing Nursing as her bf (my uncle’s son) said it would be an easy pathway for them to get PR. I asked her what about your dreams and all, she said she wants to make it out to silicon valley anyway, I had clearly seen that strong determination in her eyes when she said so and I am soon making my way to silicon valley because of that kid. She burst into tears and said she didn’t have a job for so long, she was desperately looking for a job. Once she was called for a job by Nepali guy who tryna sexually exploit her she ran away from there and saved herself. She didn’t go to the police thinking it could defame her.
Then she got into a depression she had none to share her problems with. Then my Bhai who is her school mate started to share their things and got along so well. He helped her out with various problems, she is from a middle-class family so it was very hard for her to get financial support from parents time and again. Then finally after getting along so well with my Bhai, she moved in with him as she was having a very hard time and she had the feeling for him, It was good on beginning then gradually it became worse as they are people with a very different opinion, they don’t have the same perception, they don’t share a common goal. He started bossing around as she didn’t have a very good source of income. Slowly it became a Toxic relationship, she couldn’t quit the relationship as she has moved in and is living with him. Now she is full of stress, not working on her dreams, they are planning to marry in Nepal with the family agreement.
Her parents are happy as my uncle is wealthy and settled back home. She cannot see a future with them as their thoughts, goals don’t match but she is willing to marry him as her family and community are aware of her relationship and her family is asking her to marry him. She said she regrets her immature decision; she was spoiling herself by the freedom she got, she got into a Gucci gang friend circle, she was spending a lot of money on expensive stuff and helping on her friends who never helped her back on hard times. I totally understand that when we get here we all are wild, young, and free. There is no parent restriction, we can get all we want by just tapping a card and we trust everybody and take them as friends. It’s a very crucial phase. We should never let that thing get away from our minds. Why did we come here ?? We should never let our ultimate goal slip away because of easy flexibility with current jobs. It’s hard to work on dreams out here. We must not just run after money, pleasure, and all. I blame people like self-centered people like me who are just running after their own goals and money. Money, status, and sexuality have made our community so blind that there is no humanity in us these days, Some assholes are objectifying ladies as sexual objects who are trying to take advantage of their hard situation.
If I hadn’t been so selfish and I had been checking out my bro and that Nani regularly then things would have gotten worse. Why are we so materialistic that we have been valuing money over someone’s future and life. It’s time to awaken humanity, than being sorry and saying RIP later. We got the whole life ahead of us to earn money. Finally, I talked to her parents and my brother that the marriage won’t work out, I helped her to move out and resume her current study. She found an intern as a junior web developer that would start paying her after a month. I never had a sister, when she cried I felt she was very my very own mother. Finally, she is back on track, working on her dreams, she is so bright and I’m sure she will make it to silicon valley one day. People like us who have been through tough student periods should be helping the kids from our community so that we don’t have to regret early demise from depression.
Let’s create a community where they can share their problems, we should jointly help on solving their issues either its about toxic relationships, working on their dreams, study, unfair pay, and everything. Lots of kids are getting into the wrong track who came here full of dreams. In foreign we seniors are their local guardians, we shall take that responsibility and help juniors instead of just running after money and taking their advantage. Please help them as much as you can instead of living in free by charging students high rent, Guys who are students just be smart, don’t do anything to impress others just do things what your heart feels like, what is the right thing to do and acceptable by law. Don’t buy the Gucci bag and jordans, if you need to borrow money to pay your fees, do uber eats, or freelancing instead of pubg and TikTok. Always keep learning and developing your skills, learn about forex trading, cryptocurrency, how to make passive income and investment without falling in traps of ARCN, Amway. Learn cinematography, photography, programming, networking, cooking anything just don’t stop.
Follow people who inspire you to be the best version of yourself. No matter how dear a person is to you.they are not good humans then leave right away, it would ruin your life. Never give up on your and your parent’s dreams, don’t be too desperate for a relationship cause you are the only single in your group. Talk with people who share common dreams and goals. Be humble and always try to help her when you can. Never compromise for anyone on anything, you might be in dark for a while but the sun does rise always to give light to those who dare to come out of caves. Be humble and down to earth “akhir mari lane ta kehi haina”, Promise yourself that you will stay away from toxic people no matter who they are either they are your workmate, roommate, school/ college mate, gf/bf, unit owner, wife/husband, anyone is bold and brave and leaves them right away If something isn’t right then stands against it. They will ruin your life. You will surely thank me later for leaving them. Especially we, who are pretty much settled or who are not students anymore, should seriously initiate building community on the basis of the area we live in. Once in a week/fortnight, we should hold gatherings in each area where we can discuss problems and other stuff where we can jointly look for a solution. Keep working hard and smart, give everything you got for your dreams. It would surely pay off one day. No more toxic people in your life. NO MORE
Male 27
Sydney
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