This started way back 13 yrs ago. I was walking on the road coming to my room and she greeted me. I was awestricken as the most beautiful girl I have ever seen was in front of me smiling. I can still remember the mesmerizing smile of her, and the best part she was smiling at me. As I hesitated to initiate conversation then she realized, I do not know her. She told me that she knows me as I frequently visited the house where she lives. I used to go there to meet a good friend of mine. After the icebreaker, we talked some random things waved goodbye. After this incident, every time I went to meet my friend, I used to meet her. We started calling each other. Despite not having a cell phone she used to call me from her dad’s phone. These were the most wonderful moments of my life.
I just fell in love with her so hard that I started to daydream of my future with her, but reality gave me a nightmare as I analyzed my situation. Me, a poor student, self-sustaining in Kathmandu with any petty jobs I get, and she, the daughter of a rich businessman. I dreamt of being rich, dreamt of making a house in KTM so I can be eligible to be with her side, but it is not so easy to become rich overnight. On top of that our faith was different too. I started to fall and fall so much for her that It became very hard for me to become just a friend with her. I wanted her to fall for me too as I fell for her so I could purpose her once the feeling is mutual. I constantly got mixed signals.
I was frustrated with myself, my faith, and my poverty for not being able to formally purpose and be with her. As I couldn’t only be friends with her, I wrote a message and confessed my feelings and said goodbye forever. Then, I work hard for years and saved some money and came to Australia, got married and got this PR thing and the dream of the house is fulfilled too. The thing that bothers me is that I still remember her every moment I close my eyes. My heart beats faster only if I see her photo on FB. I thought with time everything will be gone but been 10 yrs but it seems my heart has a manufacturing defect. It beats hard only if I hear the same name. Is this normal??? Share if you had any experience like this and how did you overcome this.
