WOULD I EVER GET OVER IT?
I don’t know what happening to me. I know it already been 2 months since we had decided to separate. Maybe he has moved on in his life but hey look at me I am still there wondering what’s going on. I don’t know what to do now. I also want to move on, and I am trying hard to move on but all in vain. I seem stronger from outside but I am all broke inside. I am hurt but I don’t want to show ppl that I am weak and hurt. Pretending being strong makes me cry out louder in the night when there is nobody to listen to me out. Yes, I still miss you. I still miss your voice, your laugh, your smile, your touch, your kiss, your love ❤. yes, I still miss how much you cared for me.
I miss everything about you every time, every night. I don’t know when my pillow gets all wet remembering you. Maybe I am still in love with you. Maybe I will never get over you. Yes, I keep dreaming about you. Every third day I dream about you, either you love me – you leaving me or you getting married to another girl. People say that’s because he is still in your subconscious mind. How could it be possible to see the same person in every third dream I see.
I still wonder “what if he had shown some courage” what if he has guts to tell everyone that I am his girl and he won’t leave me at any cost”. It all ends with WHAT IF. Maybe we still would be together madly in love with each other. Maybe I wait for you to come online and tell how was my day and listen to your version of story. We could talk some romantic lines and laugh at each other You want to go to sleep and still I won’t let you go and stop u for a moment. MAYBE… Everyone says I deserve a better than you, even you said this to me. But you know what actually I think, You were best for me so what will I do with the better version.
I am suffering a lot here STILL. All the memories haunt me down so much. Am I that bad that someone wants to love me but can’t marry me? Do I deserve this all suffering? Why can’t I forget you, completely? Why can’t I stop thinking about you? Why do I keep running from the truth? Why can’t I accept the fact that I am dead to you? Why does my mind keep thinking about you and my heart gets hurt? Why can’t I have concentration and focus on other things? Why do I still keep hope? and the most important thing Why did he leave me when I needed him the most? All these questions keep running in my mind. It makes me feel my heart heavy. It makes my day dull. I have forgotten to laugh. I miss being myself whom I was before 2 months. I won’t ask you to come back but I would like to ask please give me back my happiness which happens to be lost as I lost you.
-09/06/2020💔
Female 19
Sydney
#CURSED FOR BEING BORN AS A BAHUN
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